Fear and Blessing

Tonight I read my poem for Fuel as a worship transition. It was extremely scary, but so worth it. I sincerely hope it was a blessing to at least one person. There were a couple of wet eyes in the room, and a group of about 8 of my friends came up after I got off stage. There were a lot of hugs and everything about tonight was encouraging. I’m pretty much over the moon.

Flashlights

The room was lit
By the students’ hope
The room was lit
By our God’s grace
The room was lit
By mercy and love
The room was lit
To our enemy’s dismay

This is something I’m writing on the way home from an incredibly moving Fuel. It’s poem-ish.

Poem Reading

My speech class just recently finished it’s chapter on poetry and how to properly read it. At the time, I had yet to actually write a poem of my own, so I was reading song lyrics that I thought had enough meaning to satsfy the assignment. Consequently, I discovered that I’m bad at reading poetry. I don’t know why, either. I’m fairly decent at narration, storytelling, debate, and even the delivering of a persuasive speech. I was even comfortable delivering a speech on why Dungeons and Dragons is NOT evil, and shouldn’t be a condemned social practice, all the while speaking in front of my peers.

Now I have recieved news that leaders in my youth group (including the youth pastor) loved the poem I wrote and want me to read it as a worship transition. I both do and don’t want to do this. Knowing I was no good at reading the poems I didn’t write doesn’t necessarily mean I couldn’t put feeling into reading something I did write. To be honest, I’m positively terrified, but I’m going to read it anyway.

No one ever got anywhere in life by playing it safe and letting fear keep them down. 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. If God can help me not have a meltdown, he can touch people through something, and I could even participate. I’d have to be crazy to miss an opportunity like that.

Anyway, I’m being told that I’ll be reading my poem on May 2nd at Fuel, so prayers and support would be majorly appreciated. As in, if I know you please show up. Staring out at the faces of unknown teenagers, judging my work from afar is really something I don’t look forward to. The poem I wrote should be somewhere in my blog posts amongst all the junk of my personal life and musings of my restless brain.

Here and now, will we ever be again? ‘Cuz I have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again. — Shimmer by Fuel